I stand by the name of Atiqah, same goes to other human being on earth I also had the heart but I remember my late father used to tell me and my sister that I'm strong tough girl he has. I'm facing more obstacles during my mom pregnancy compared to my sister eventho my sister had twin. However my weakness is my heart; I always has the softest heart among the family member of mine.
I can easily cry over small thing such fail to get A in the subjects. I cry over the "no" by mama. I cry when my sister didn't want to color my book. 🤔 clingy me huh?! Efffft why do I write about this ey? Grrr okay so basically now I'm in a serious heart broken. I did, I felt very disappointed and frust. I'm so exhausted with all this. I cry day and night all the day long.. I cry when I drive alone and I cry in my pray.
Why Allah s.w.t doing this to me? Whe is Allah took away all the one I love? First Allah s.w.t took mama.. Followed by Ayah and Ikhwan now opah and A's aren't he know this is the one I love the most? What is the purpose taking all this from me? The necklace I used to had in my neck too!!! Babi betul.
Aren't he know I'm tired? Why he just down knock me out of this life? Just knock me I'll be with mama and ayah there. I'm plan all my way to him now it's gone!!! Gonna resign before raya just to make way and focus for A's but we trap into hard situation. Why can't Allah s.w.t guide his heart to be patient with me?
Why can't Allah s.w.t ease Y's heart to accept me? And her brother well. What of heart she had to see me and her brother messed up. ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Will be back soon. Let me cry more now.
I know baba is reading this blog, he usually will respond to my entry via emails, he usually will drop the positive support or hilarious joke email to me. He might look serious but baba is good daddy. He know how terrified I am. It's just the time and place the bring us both meet up, one moment in Amsterdam next hours in Paris next day might be in London for work.
But the bond for us email and call via skype(yeah old school us) So recently we skype my he saw my eyes were swollen eyes. He ask if I gain weight by 6kg each eyes. I burst into laugh and said "maybe" and btw the face I show him yesterday he knew there is something wrong with me.
So baba said go watch movie or movies! I'll definitely with go for movies because it more that one and it's free. Thank you baba.
This is my fourth time editing this blog since I soul to write up anymore. I cry over any over.. (Mengada lah kau ni Ika, ishhhh let's bygone be bygone! What with swollen eyes lagi ni?! Enough is enough ika. Think back what good u did. You win already be cool man.) why so lots of voice inside my mind now huh!
Okay bye for now.
